My Breast Perspective

I still remember the day when I came home from school and my parents told me that my mom had breast cancer, I was 12.  My mom was only 32. She was a beautiful, strong, petite hispanic woman who both inspired and intimidated me. She was honest, kind and loving. Her relationship with my dad was genuine and they were unconditionally in love. I’m forever grateful to have had them as models for parents and a loving adult relationship.

After my mom’s diagnosis, she had a mastectomy that left an enormous scar across her chest. She battled with lymph healing and prosthetic discomfort for the rest of her short life. After her mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation were suggested, but she ultimately chose not to pursue either intervention because of the possible consequences. Remember I mentioned she was hispanic, I believe this played a major role in her health journey. At the time of her diagnosis, for her, healthcare was hard to navigate, scary, expensive, not understood and not prioritized unless in crisis. I believe that because of her background, and the advanced stage of her cancer diagnosis, she chose a less aggressive approach. She prioritized physical therapy and healthy eating for healing.

My mom worked hard to shield everyone from her struggle with breast cancer, until she couldn’t hide it anymore. Her life progressed over the course of 3 1/2 years where I watched her deteriorate as the cancer grew inside of her. She became blind and weak with fragile bones. I vividly remember the day that a simple sneeze resulted in a broken femur and ultimately led to the end of her life. She passed away in our home in August of 1991.

From the ages of 12 – 15 I did my best to enjoy school, friends and sports. I babysat during the summer months; loved volleyball, swimming, music and drawing. I learned to drive and started high school. Throughout this time, I also helped take care of my mom. It felt like I was living a double life, one in which I was having fun, the other I was watching my mom die a slow tragic death.

I’ve seen what breast cancer can do to a body when it takes over. It is a horrible thing to witness. It left an enormous scar on my heart and changed my family dynamic and life path forever.

For a while after her passing, I slept a lot and skipped a lot of school. Luckily, I had an amazing high school counselor that suggested I get my GED and move on to college. I moved out of my house as a 17 year old and started working towards university. During this time, I struggled to find community as I was the only person I knew who had lost their mother at a young age. It wasn’t until I started to think outside the box that I began to discover a sense of community in different places. I found a book called “Motherless Daughters”, participated in Susan G Komen Race for the Cure events and volunteered at the American Cancer Society. The experience that had the greatest impact on me was volunteering for Camp Wapiyapi, an amazing camp for kids battling cancer and their siblings. I would go on to run the entire organization and did so for 10 years. I also met my husband while volunteering with the Camp Wapiyapi, which gave me an deeper sense of purpose. All of these experiences started to shift my perspective and helped me notice the beauty in life again.

I started to prioritize quality of life. I found purpose and hope when I had community. I discovered that I could chose how to learn and grow from my experiences. I realized that living a full and beautiful life is truly all about perspective.

Take what you will from my story and experiences. I hope that it will help you find your own Breast Perspective.